Mr Holmes and the Watsons
by ElephantsAndTeacups
Summary: John Watson is a man of his word, so when his Aunt passes away from terminal cancer, he must stick by his promise to look out for his younger, weirder cousin, Liz. Welcome to the story of how Sherlock broke his nose, John face planted a lampost, Liz spilled tea all over Mycroft's food and Moriarity gets up to stuff. Evil stuff. The usual. May contain spoilers, set before Reinbach.


Mr. Holmes and the Watsons

Chapter One – Kidneys and Announcements

John walked up the stairs of 221B like a man sentenced to death. By the time he had reached the stop his eye was twitching nervously and his legs seemed to have turned into jelly. He knew Sherlock would not take his announcement well, but John was a big boy, and he had made his Aunt Patricia a promise he intended to keep.

'John, are you planning on standing there all day panicking? If so, make yourself useful and find me another revolver. I'm bored and I seem to have broken the other one.' _Well, it's now or never,_ John thought.

'Sherlock, I've, er, I've got something to tell you, but I'm not sure you're going to like it.'

'If the amount of sweating you're doing is any indicator, I'm going to have to agree with you there,' Sherlock said, turning to lie on his back rather than his side on the sofa he was sprawled across. 'But do hurry up and spit it out, I'm going to sneak that kidney out of Mrs. Hudson's fridge before she gets back from the shops.'

'Well, you know the funeral I was at today?'

'The one for your Aunt that you've just gotten back from? Yes, I had nobody to make tea. Anyway, what did you find out, or rather remember at that funeral that has you in such a fluster, and how exactly do I come into it?' Sherlock began to absentmindedly drum his fingers on the pillow resting on his stomach, and John wondered how he managed to look so bored when he himself felt like throwing up.

'Right, well, I think I best sit down first.' He sank into the armchair, allowing the faint smell of smoke, aftershave, and another unidentified smell to calm his before beginning. 'I was at the wake when I remember a promise my Aunt had made me make years ago, when she found out she had terminal cancer. She'd made me swear to look after her daughter, Elizabeth, my cousin, when she couldn't anymore. So I began asking around to see if she was still there. I hadn't seen at all during the service, but I found her in the back garden up a tree. Turns out she lives up in Scotland now, but tonight she's staying at a hotel in the city. Anyway, we were chatting and I found out she's been a bit strapped for cash and has been having a bit of trouble with an ex and is a bit lonely in general. So I, um...'

'John? You what, precisely? It can't be that horrific. You gave her money? Told her you'd sort out her ex issue so you have to go up to Scotland for a while? What exactly did you do?' Sherlock turned his head to look right at him, and John found that his expression was still that of sheer boredom. If he wasn't so afraid of Sherlock's reaction he'd have been a bit peeved off at the lack of interest.

'I-told-her-she-could-move-in-with-us,' John said quickly, worried that if he didn't get it all out fast that it would get caught in his throat.

'Move in with us? Here? At Baker Street?' Sherlock asked incredulously. John seemed to have finally caught his attention. He was sitting upright on the sofa, staring at John as if he'd just expressed a newfound desire to perform a strip tease in the Diogenes Club, and his mouth was hanging open slightly. John felt a bit proud that he had shocked Sherlock so much (har har har). It seemed that the prospect of another flatmate had the infamous genius speechless.

'Yes. Here. With us. By the way, she prefers to be called Liz. If you don't, she'll threaten your genitals.'

'But where... Where will she work? _Slee.p?_'

'Sherlock, there is another bedroom here, you know. And as for somewhere to work, the café downstairs are hiring since Janine's off on maternity leave, it'll have to do for the time being. She'll be here sometime next week.'

'What if she doesn't like me?' That was the one thing John had _not_ expected Sherlock to say. He normally didn't care what anyone thought of him, bar a select few. Looking at him, he seemed genuinely troubled by the idea of Liz disliking him – which John thought wasn't something to worry about. She, like John, lived for adventure and adrenaline. Since they were kids, she would pretend to be a lion tamer with John while their other cousins played boring things like house. Liz had also wanted to be a published author, which would only increase her fascination regarding the world's only consulting detective.

'Trust me Sherlock; Liz'll think you're brilliant, just like I do. After all, she was always the really weird one that all the other cousins avoided. Good weird though.'

The fact that Liz was a fellow outsider and a bit of an oddball seemed to pacify Sherlock. Then, very slowly, a small smile crept upon his face. Looking up at the older man through his dark unruly hair, he asked 'Do you really think I'm brilliant, John?'

'Of course I do! And that's exactly what I told Liz. I also said you were slightly mental and liked to shoot holes in the wall to cure boredom and she seemed to get that terrifying curious glint in her eyes.'

'Curious glint?'

'Yes, a curious glint, one that usually results in trouble. She thinks you're going to be very interesting to live with, and she's seen moving here as an adventure.'

'Well then, I'll have to make sure not to disappoint!' Sherlock then rose from his seat with a faint smile on his lips and asked, 'Cup of tea?'

And although John knew it would probably be the worst cuppa he'd ever had in his life, he appreciated the effort from his friend. 'I'd love one.'

* * *

**Hello dearies. I know I should be updating Potter and Evans put I have so much stuff inside my head that I can't think. Plus, John and Sherlock are going to be hilarious to write for, especially when Sherlock the cock blocker meets Liz the cock blocker. Anyway, please let me know what you thought of it in a review. For every review, I'll do the macarena. ;)  
**

**Patience x**


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